Being in a relationship with a narcissist or someone with high traits can be difficult to navigate in. The isolation you feel from feeling like no one understands your situation can be deafening. You pretend for so long that everything is ok to hold things together and yet you are being destroyed internally day by day.
Over time it is hard to hide behind your own mask of deception as you protect your narcissist in whatever realm that may be in. We all have narcissistic traits some higher than others but if you have empathy for others then you are not a narcissist. Many people abused by those that are begin to feel they are the ones who are narcs as they begin to take on the traits of the narc while the narc steals all the good traits from you. You begin to be unhappy, self loathing, angry, resentful, jealous, paranoid and more. This is taking on the narcissists traits. This is because the trust is null and void once devaluation has entered into your dynamic.
Gas-lighting is a huge part of the narcissistic relationship as the narc tries to keep you disoriented at all times creating chaos. The narc keeps a calm demeanor as you begin to unravel making you look to the outside world like you are the one creating the chaos. This is important to the narc to keep the false mask on for the outside world to see. They manipulate everything to work for their advantage while causing chaos and confusion to distract others from looking at them. It is a clever tactic and gives them the ability to control everyone around them without being detected. Everyone is to concerned in their emotional thinking to take notice that they are being manipulated. All the while the narc is watching as the creation they started plays out just as they wanted. This gives the narc a powerful feeling and they revel in it without anyone even realizing.
The narc is not a happy person as they do not feel that emotion and can’t. They mimic happiness by watching others and learning what it looks like. They do this with many emotions and can appear very joyous. Beneath the surface they are full of hate and jealousy which they do feel. They are great at deflection and projection.
There are many facets to the narcissist and their relationships that many just don’t see. The narc does not want you to see who they really are deep inside. Those who cater to the narcissist become an extension of them and give more than they get back.
I will explain more about how the relationships begin and what goes on within them. I will post links at times of things that helped me get through the difficult times of my devaluations as I was trauma bonded and PTSD was something that came in the aftermath.
I will share information on the empathic and codependent personality as these are the types of people the narcissist attaches themselves to. This will help explain the questions often asked of why these personality types allowed to be treated this way in the first place.
Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day is around the corner and this is a subject that many don’t understand. It is important information to know if helping a friend, family member, or if you are in the midst of the narcissistic relationship. The thing to remember is the narcissist does not have emotional thinking because we do it is extremely painful and can change who you once were. The narcissist relies on your emotional thinking to control you.
If in the throws of a narcissistic relationship of any kind, you will at least once look in the mirror and ask yourself where the person you once were is. You won’t recognize yourself. You will be depleted and feel misunderstood and alone. You and the narcissist will have traded traits. The narcissist will then feel successful and point the finger at you….. Then walk away without caring at all.
The narcissist believes at some point you will betray them and they will beat you to it. They are two steps ahead of you during your relationship as you never saw this coming.
- They did. This is how it always ends with a narcissist. Poof.