You are a truth seeker. You have been bonded with a toxic person and you sense your reality with them is different outside the bubble. Maybe you heard something that doesn’t coincide with what you know your relationship to be. This couldn’t be or could it?
You wait and say nothing to the person you are in the relationship with. Your thoughts are clouded as you try to make excuses. You want to believe this person is who they have appeared to be. Anxiety creeps in as you on one hand question the people coming to you with gossip and want to believe it couldn’t be true.
How then do you get your answers? You know if you ask your partner it could cause issues for you, yet if you seek answers elsewhere you can look crazy. What do you do?
Not only have I been in this situation I have had truth seekers reach out to me in my past. Either way it is an uncomfortable situation to be in. Your cognitive dissonance will cloud your inner alarm system. This can keep you up at night and create instability within your life if you are not careful.
In my past I have waited and watched for others signs before approaching the person I was involved with. Once I did reveal what was told or what I knew, I waited for a response that would hopefully shred all doubt. I would feel guilty at times for even second guessing this persons integrity. I wanted to believe them and still think highly of them.
Once upon a time I would buy into the answers I would get from the person I was in a relationship with. I chose to believe them and move forward looking at others as people who wanted to cause problems. Unfortunately, later I would be proven wrong.
For a victim it can cause serious trust issues. You can feel like you can never trust someone again as the lies told before were so grandiose and believable. You no longer trust your own judgement and this also creates resentment.
I have had truth seekers reach out to me. They want to know if I have ever dated the person they are involved with. I can say with certainty each time the answer was No. I would hear that they were told I had a relationship of some kind from their partner. This if true makes me a victim of triangulation. Why would someone lie to their partner saying they had some relationship with me when they hadn’t? The short answer is to make their partner feel they were wanted by another to keep them working harder for their attention. This is to build themselves up and make them appear a catch so the victim is afraid of losing them. In turn the victim not only has anxiety from thinking others are interested in their mate, they are comparing themselves and pushing to be better.
This is so toxic and one tactic used to manipulate a persons mind. Your alarm bells will go off if you feel things are off with someone toxic. A victim should listen to their own body for signals. If you are questioning your relationship there is a problem to be addressed. It may be that you are in an unhealthy relationship or that you have to deal with why you feel this way. Things won’t get better if buried as you could begin to resent your partner more and or the trust issues will gain momentum.
Healthy people don’t have things to hide in their partnerships. There is open communication, respect for each other, and able to share their feelings without fear no matter what they are. If in a toxic relationship none of these things are present. You will know the difference by listening to your own body signals. Example, if you feel you can’t approach your partner about anything upsetting you (right or wrong) because you fear the relationship will break up, there’s a warning sign the relationship isn’t healthy.
It does seem unfair that trust issues come from being with someone who lies about pretty much everything to get their needs met. However, there are many decent people in the world that have a good character about them. Once you value yourself the ones that don’t won’t want to seek after you. The ones that see your worth will come forward and you can build a healthy relationship on a foundation that is stable.
Will you choose to stand in a body full of anxiety trying to prove your worth to someone who only seeks to prove theirs through others? Will you claim your worth and couple with someone who knows their own and can value you and the relationship? You have the power to choose.
It’s time to get to know you and decide.