Bringing Awareness:

We have less than six months before World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day . This is my fourth year as I and others bring awareness for victims and supporters of people of narcissistic abuse. Emotional Abuse creates hidden scars and impacts many who feel isolated in fear. Victims seek understanding and help to recover from the trauma bonds, CPTSD, shame , guilt, and codependency. Supporters with knowledge can help their loved ones by gaining insight into why they stay, go back, react, isolate themselves, and understand how they were also manipulated by the narcissist.

Gaining awareness helps people understand what narcissistic personality disorder is, understand we all have narcissistic traits and the differences. Understanding narcissistic abuse helps people gain awareness of what types of people the narcissist is attracted to and why. Many have been victims and weren’t or aren’t aware of what they have been dealing with.

This can cause victims to blame themselves, question their judgement, be depressed, feel suicidal and wonder where the person they once were went. Victims can often feel alone as it is hard to explain why they hide the abuse, protect their abuser, and how it manifested over time. Shame can make the victim feel it was their fault .

The abuse begins subtly and grows as the victim is devalued and given respite periods that can go on for years. If or when the victim does expose the narcissist or threaten to, they smear the victim. Their abuser uses vulnerabilities against the victim to point the finger and protect the facade. This is after they have created scenarios for the victim to react once they have been beaten down and had enough.

The victims emotional responses are used against them as the narcissist planned long before the discard. They use this to turn the trait and victimize the victim more. The now overly emotional victim looks unstable as their abuser wanted. The victim is then abused by others as the narcissist manipulated them covertly to help hold up their facade. They then laugh at the victim as they revel in how well they were able to orchestrate and puppet everyone.

There are many reasons this happens and why the tables can be turned on the victim. With awareness we can help children being bullied in our school systems, parents being bullied in custody battles within our court systems, help domestic violence victims express how it started with emotional abuse and why 911 calls don’t help victims of hidden scars. It can give answers for why people are treated unfairly in companies but can’t explain or prove it to HR, how people can be victimized even in our churches, youth programs and more.

I post the month of May and all day on June 1st. There is a private support group if you need support and I have a podcast station along with many other people spreading awareness.

Healing trauma is letting it go so it no longer defines and controls you. It is letting go of shame , dealing with core values, and learning to create and hold strong boundaries. It is having a voice that is heard, believing In yourself again and helping others.

If you are someone who believes you have been abused , are being abused, or know someone who is , please help share awareness. We all have something we believe in, gone through things gaining wisdom and hopefully grow through those experiences. We can then choose to share and help others who need support. It’s a gift gained , a blessing and can help save someone.

You or someone you know can heal and move forward leaving the chaotic lifestyle behind.


June 1st, 2020

I feel:

I thought when we met that we were the perfect match

I soaked you in like sun rays on a beautiful summer day

I thought you were the sunshine as your warmth made me feel safe

I thought I saw love in your eyes as you intently looked upon me

I thought you felt safe and would always support and protect me

I thought I would take care of you and love you forever

I thought we would travel the world and experience life together

I thought we would be a family and enjoy those memories made

I  thought  we were best friends and enjoyed each others company

I thought I was important to you as you were important to me

I thought we would be partners and we would stay united

I thought you respected me as I respected and admired you

I thought I could trust you and believed I would always be able to

I thought you would never hurt me and would make sure no-one ever did

I thought you cared about my dreams and wanted me to succeed

I thought you would be there to support me as I planned to support you

I thought my life would be easier with you and I thought I helped make yours that way

I thought you listened to things I liked and were genuinely interested

I thought I would be there through your successes and you would be there for mine

I thought you were sincere as I sincerely opened my heart up to you

I thought you understood me as I felt we appreciated each other

I thought we were in love as I loved you and you said you loved me

I thought…

I thought…

I thought…

I think…

I think…

I think…

I cried, I mourned, I realized

I fought against what I thought I understood

I thought, I fought, I was sought out and caught

I see, I saw, I was blinded

I am awake, I want to sleep, I need to heal

I hurt, I ache, I feel alone

I think I can heal as I know I am strong but I feel so weak

I think I will trust again as I have always trusted

I thought I could trust myself and my own judgement

I think I lost confidence and faith in me

I think, I thought, I fought, I sought

I know through pain I find strength and I find who I am and who I once was

I know I am worthy and I deserve all that I have desired in life

I know I can recover as long as I let go but it hurts as I feel a part of me gone

I thought it was real but I learned it wasn’t at all

I think I wanted it so much I ignored the signs as I liked the illusion.

I thought I had been handed a gift,  it just wasn’t the gift I had anticipated

I thought I got the gift of finding true love with another

I thought I knew myself and was independent and self assured

I don’t have to think as I now know, the gift was facing me

I know the gift was learning to love me and I gained

You thought you stole my soul but instead you lead me

right where I needed to be. Facing me, Loving me, knowing me.

I feel…

I feel..

I feel…

I am thankful…

I am thankful…

I am thankful…