A narcissist sees life through a completely different lens than most people. It can be very frustrating because their perceptions can be so off base. You may try reasoning with them but it doesn’t ever work. What it does for them is amp them up. This gives them fuel to project onto you how they really feel about themselves on a core level. They don’t understand this as it is deep rooted. It has nothing to do with you. It may feel like it because it’s directed at you but it is more about them and their low self esteem and low self worth. They don’t do the work it takes to get healthy so stay inwardly miserable . To feel better you or someone has to be worse. They need this to soothe their own self hate.

A narcissist will always have a target of someone or something to project all kinds of negativity onto. You may be bewildered as they recreate history, recreate how events happened, say you said what they actually said,smear you to anyone who will listen, play the victim etc, etc, etc. This is so they aren’t accountable and take responsibility for their actions or their own life. They need to feel better than so they need to put you or someone down.

People with empathy can eventually get sick of this and their empathy lowers in situations to protect themselves. You retreat away from the antagonist and then they scream they are allienated. They can’t see they are their own worst enemy. They will smear you in hopes to be enabled for their bad behavior. This makes them feel more powerful and so they unleash more onto you.
Stay away from people who do this to you. It’s abuse.

These people cross every boundary you can make for yourself just to get you upset to then play victim for attention. It is called crazy making or gaslighting. It is emotional abuse which is narcissistic abuse. It is meant to destabilize you so they gain power over your emotions , your mind, and control you or an outcome. Don’t be a puppet and enable this. It will affect your life, it will hurt you , it will cause so much lasting damage.

Narcissist’s don’t have real close friendships, they are users , they take advantage of those closets to them. They expect to be treated like they are overly special or else. They may give but they expect something in return. (Adoration)

They feel smarter than everyone else and will say so. They are insensitive to how they treat other people but will feel abused by you if you create and hold your boundaries. They see this as you hurting and abusing them because they don’t have control and power over you. They need that so go to others to manipulate them to get that power back which soothes their anxiety . It nothing you can fix. Ever…..

You must walk away and it may hurt, it may be hard but sticking around means it will never stop… Ever.

You have the choice. It may seem hard but you have more power than you realize. You don’t deserve abuse of any kind. You don’t have to be in a relationship with anyone who abused you. Anyone…. Don’t let people shame or guilt you into believing you do.

Don’t take things personally, create distance away from the narcissistic person, make sure to create and hold your boundaries, and advocate for yourself.

Jennifer Watkins