When a codependent finally starts speaking up about their own needs narcissistic people may call them NEEDY. They ignore how much the codependent/empath has done because they have taken it all for-granted. It never occurs to the narcissistic person because they are consumed with their own needs and wants.
A codependent will eventually have their cup so empty they do start speaking up about their own needs and wants. This annoys narcissistic people.
When a codependent/empath isn’t around for the narcissistic person (because they are now taking care of their own needs) it causes a narcissistic injury for a narcissist. They take notice and wonder why the codependent isn’t working properly for them anymore . The narcissist never realizes they expected to much from them in the first place.
A codependent can’t hold their camp together and everyone else’s forever. They run out of steam. A narcissist will then start to complain and the codependent will find themselves over- explaining themselves and hurt.
Once a codependent heals and begins doing things for themselves the relationship starts to unravel and can’t survive . The person that held the ship down(codependent /empath) is now guiding there own.
A narcissist may try to Hoover the codependent back in and this may work for awhile but eventually the relationship ends because the codependent/empath ran out of gas. The narcissist can’t understand because they lack empathy.
A narcissistic relationship will wear you out. You don’t have to be on repeat practically begging for you needs to be met. A narcissist won’t validate you unless you are performing the way they want you to. They will complain and replace you if you start doing your things. You are an appliance to narcissistic people. If the toaster breaks the narcissist throws it out and gets a new one.
It’s ok to do what you need to do for yourself. No need to feel guilty or shame about that.
*Everyone has narcissistic traits. Some are on the lower end of the scale, healthy people are in the middle and narcissistic people are higher up the scale.
Narc Shield @YouTube
Have you questioned being in a narcissistic relationship pattern with different people in your life? Do you do everything for everyone but feel your life overwhelmed?
Many people liked The show, “Dirty John” on Netflix however, this is real. It can happen to anyone. There are people out there that PREY on good people to have their own needs met while destroying other people . Those needs can vary and why many victims are being played at one time. They are able to conn many with their charm and sometimes gain minions who will help hurt the people they are devaluing in some way. (Emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, sexually victims are harmed. )
The Trauma bond made makes it difficult for the victim to leave as they struggle with logic because of the Love bombing phase. The victim has a hard time wrapping their head around the fact this person isn’t who they thought they were. They want to believe the good. The conn exploits those good traits in their victims counting on it to gain more power and control. This isolates them from those they love as the chaos envelops many. The victim has a hard time getting people to believe them because the conn is a master at manipulation and set things up over time for the victim to look off balance. The victim took them back and even defended them. This is the trauma bonded mind of the victim .
It isn’t about scaring people into thinking everyone is this way but important for people to be aware of the RED FLAGS. World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness day is June 1st and each year we see that awareness is spreading. It is important that people not diagnose people but to use the information to stay aware and safe.
Dating online is a place where you need to be especially cautious as it is a place where Narcissistic and Antisocial Personality disordered people prey on people. They can pretend to be whoever they need to be behind a computer. This isn’t something to joke about. It is real and those affected by it struggle to heal from the emotional trauma for a very long time. I know when you personally have not been abused in any way it can be easy to dismiss but it can happen to anyone. You may need to support someone someday through it.
I will continue to share awareness as it is a serious matter. These people do not like being exposed and bringing awareness irritates those with these issues. It can cause a smear campaign as these people wish to hold their facade firmly in place. One of the red flags is turning the trait and pointing the finger at their victims to deflect. Don’t be a part of re-victimizing by joking about something that is a serious matter. I hope with Awareness we can help those bullied in school, in the work place, in families, in our court systems, and more. Thank you and I hope you will help spread Awareness with me again this year. I go live to speak about this every year, on June first for (World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day) on my Facebook and YouTube Channel.